Okay, so the truth will be shown here on my blog then. I got kicked out from the band today through a text message while I was grocery shopping - they we're disappointed in me that I didn't show up for the training which was today actually. This morning I sent a text message to them that I couldn't even talk because 2 weeks ago, I could begin to talk but still I had to be careful about my voice.

I got as well the question if I had a hangover, which I didn't. It wasn't a rough party yesterday, I wasn't even drunk! I drank 3 glasses of wine, nobody can get drunk from that who have been drunk before!

But I wanted to be in the band and begun to train my voice anyway no matter if it was danger for my voice because of the infection, which resulted in this - I can't talk or sing again and now I have to begin with a stronger medication so I get rid of the infection! And now, I will wait til' the whole infection is gone or else I might loose my voice forever. I can't let that happen, because I love to sing..

 

I understand their disappointment in me, but what was I supposed to do on the training when I couldn't speak or sing? :O I never got answer to that question when I asked them.. And what was I supposed to do when I got the infection except wait til' it got better? I didn't want the infection in the first place, still I tried to catch up time and strained my voice - which now was in vain I realised. I will never strain my voice that much for anyone else than myself, at all, again! I don't want to loose my singing voice just because of pressure, to sing means a lot to me and there will never be anyone who can put my voice that much under pressure.. I tried to do the best, but it still felt that they didn't believe in me in the end right before they kicked me.

For me, it feels like the end maybe was close anyway, they didn't seem to have the patience to wait til' my voice had recovered which has to mean that for them I didn't matter. But I don't care, my voice matters for me, because it still will be I who suffer for it if I would loose my singingvoice.

 

If they really didn't respect my voice then I think they made be best desicion which was to kick me away and let me go solo instead. If I can't be a singer in a band, then I can go solo. That's fine for me, especially when I get the feeling that people who I play with don't believe in me, don't understand me, don't know me well enough TO understand me and don't respect my voice.

 

I can't deny that it was a great time to be in the band, because it was, but the best desicion was made.

They didn't seem to have the patience, I don't want to loose my singing voice because

SOMEONE somewhere don't have patience.

 

To make a guess, if someone of them had been in the same situation as I am in right now,

I know they would've been thinking the same way as I do and did.

I still hope that we can be friends anyway and maybe get to know eachother better in the future.

This was just a bad timing - that's all.